Thursday, February 10, 2011

Marriage Jokes

Casanova was on his deathbed.
He was full of guilt and wanted to confess to his wife.
He said, "I cannot die without telling you the truth.
I cheated on you throughout our marriage.
All those nights when I told you I was working late,
I was with other women. And not just one woman either,
 I've slept with many."
His wife started sobbing. After a moment,
she calmly looked at him and said,
"Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
Send to friend
Nancy was married for quite sometime,
and had very good relationship with her husband.
One day, she tells her husband,
"Andrew, that young couple that just moved in next door
seems such a loving twosome.
You know, every morning, when he leaves the house,
he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes,
he brings her a dozen roses."
Nancy asked Andrew, "Now, why can't you do that?"
Andrew said, "What? Why? I hardly know the girl."
Send to friend
Sally and Nancy were going in tube, chatting about their husbands.
Nancy: "It's unbelievable, I can never figure out where he goes at night."
"I know exactly what you mean," said Sally.
"One second he's in the house, and the next he's gone without a trace."
A surprising voice came from a stranger lady sitting next to two ladies,
"Well," The stranger lady continued, "I always know where my husband is."
"How do you manage that?" the other two women ask.
"Easy," she replies. "I'm a widow."
Send to friend
Dick Graham, an oil businessman,
went to the chamber of a reputed lawyer.
He wanted divorce proceedings against
his young bride to begin at once.
The lawyer asked, "What's the problem Dick.
Why are in so much hurry?"
Dick: "I want to hit that adulterant bitch for breach of contract,"
The lawyer: "I don't know if that will be OK,"
"I mean your wife isn't a piece of property, you don't own her!"
Dick: "You right advocate, but I had expected exclusive drilling rights!"
Send to friend
Some college girls were talking about what they want in
their would-be-husbands.
One girl said, "My man must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes. Sing. Stay home at night! And do what I want"
Another girl quipped, "Honey, why don't you buy a TV instead!"